can't say goodbye.... just yet

for the life of me, i don't think i will ever be able to figure out this one person... i can never really second guess what his next move would be...
month after month, he keeps changing his act... i personally have concluded that he has very little or no interest in me... we barely spend time together. unless one can consider "regularly" as being together once in a month or two...
but, the people around me have the strongest feeling that there is something much deeper than what they see. the bond that we share is probably too... thick that you can almost touch it. so obvious (to them), that despite our physical distance and ultra-seldom meetings, they have this unshakeable belief that whenever we come in contact with each other, it's different.
despite the numerous times that they have convinced me of what they see, i dont really think i can count on their speculations.
i guess i have mixed feelings about it...
i honestly, truly love the character of this person. we get along pretty well. we enjoy each other's company. but my life is far from uncomplicated.
talk about wrong timing...
life would probably be so much easier if i had met this person five years ago....
....or probably not even...

i just want to enjoy what's there for the taking...
i don't want to deny myself the chance to be happy even if it's just for a moment...
i believe that i did my time kkeping it low, taking me and my happiness for granted for the longest time....