Monday, August 8, 2011

confusion is an understatement

Its day 8. Im probably the only slightly above average IQ'd person that i know who will be willing to be a part of this stupid arrangement.
I know that i deserve more than this, yet i cant seem to have the courage, hell, common sense, more like it to get off of this toxic pit.
Torn between being too stupid to face reality or too afraid to get away from it all... completely.
If i jst had at least a tenth of my brain properly functioning, i would have left this, him.
Yet i cant.
Couldnt pass up this last few fleeting moments of sharing a joke, eating a meal, taking a ride, waking up on the same bed in a really chilly room with him.
Everything for me had been special.
For him, its jst one of those things that jst happen.
And after findng abt all the lies and alibis that he had given me all these months, i still couldnt find it in my heart to hate him, much more feel indifference...
Hatred should probably be directed to me. For being stupid as hell...
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