the alternate route..

it's been ages since i wrote my last entry... and boy, things have changed a lot since then..
i never thought that i would reach that point in my life where I can look at him and talk to him in an unattached kind of way.. i don't feel any trace of anger or bitterness to our story that had seen its dead end.
Nope. melancholy at the least, but more of the undiluted happiness because I was able to salvage the friendship. And it got better this time around.
More honesty and openess, more headspace for spontaneity and laughter
More moments of goofiness and bloopers
More of the moments worth celebrating and reminiscing
It wasn't something that we planned
Just felt into the natural flow of things.

And I'm glad. We took this alternate route in the road instead.
I have no regrets, just great memories...
And more good times to come.
I know so...

prelude to goodbye....

something he said last friday stayed with me for the rest of the evening... an underlying messsage that could never be mistaken for anything else but... goodbye..
i guess, i subconsciously knew this was going to happen... was positive that this was going to happen. it was almost imposible that someone that intelligent can actully commit to doing something as stupid as what i had been hoping for... hahaha
no one can blame me for wishful thinking.. but then again, these are just the kind of thoughts swirling and playing around my head for the longest time.
i guess, i always knew that in situations like this, he'd always be the sensible one. definitely not me.
so, this is the part where i finally start loosening my grip on my favorite teddy bear... something i had held on for so long that wasn't even mine in the first place.
at least, i can say goodbye to him at my own pace..
slowly, please...

never cut what can be untangled

my attitude towards a lot of things have changed a lot as i matured.. i have become less antagonistic and more rational. I always try as much as i can to see things from different angles. Because I believe that there is no one made inherently evil. Evrybody has goodness in them, one way or another, you just have to know how to ignite that spark in them.

i learned yet again last night that there are still some bases that i have to cover. still slacking in the UNDERSTANDING department, still need to learn to be more patient in dealing with overemotional 20 something girls.

what i enjoyed most last time was being with someone that thought i had lost a long time ago. i thought that the "friendship" was way over. surprisingly, it was the first time that i saw him to be really having a good time, upping up the notch, so to speak. I was so happy to see him being happy with us, genuinely happy...

our friendship was close to extinct about a month ago, barely even acknowledging each other's presence. not even a slight tip of the head. both of us nursing a different set of hurtful prejudice against each other. not even bothering to clear the air.

but good comes to those who wait. timing is everything. and it was as if a vacuum had sucked out all the negativity between the two of us. Right now,looking at our friendship from where it is right now, i can say that i wouldn't allow something like that to happen again. I ain't gonna let pride get in the way. I have too much to loose.... a treasured friend.

venturing into unchartered teritory

last sunday, i greeted someone through the messenger service.. what started as an innocent birthday greeting ended up in a one-of-a-kind heart-to-heart conversation.. it's like going into that part of the house that you never even thought had a door...

it just wasnt something i have ever thought possible. sometimes, you meet someone, they become your friends and you eventually drift apart ,for some reason you decided to stop exerting sso much effort just to keep your friendship.

after two years, one of you surprisingly opens up, and a dam of emotions just pours out. just a little less pride was all we needed... we could have saved ourselves a ton of misery and disappointment...

it just tells me, that everyhthing happens when they're supposed to.... you just can't make the world conform to your timelines.. it just doesn't work that way...

when all was said and done.. apologies and promises put into place... what do you have next??

better individuals.
a friendship that has a better chance to blossom.
healed spirit
regained confidence in people
gratitude from the heart.......