weakening

how can one tell if your down on the last bend in the road???

i know myself all too well. i have the determination of a horse. knows only one goal and one goal alone. i can run only on one side of the track should i chose to have that decision. yes, there is no stopping me once i have decided on one thing...

but really, at this point in my life. weariness is slowly getting the best of me.

being verbally abused and taken for granted is taking its toll on me. sometimes, even not being given the right to cry and feel bad is enough to break even the toughest of all. i get tired too. i fumble also. and yes, i also get hurt....

i get weak all too often in the past months. trying my utmost to cling on to something....

a spark of hope. a reassuring smile. a pat on the back. a thumbs up sign. a happy thought....

anything.

anything would help at this point in time.

if someone took my hands and decided to drag me elsewhere, i probably would be too weak to struggle or fight it.

one step at a time by jordin sparks

"it's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen..."
i think that if there's ultimately one thing in this world that i have been taught so much of, that is learning to wait....
nothing good can ever come from something that was forced or prematurely acquired... it doesn't matter if were talking about your favorite dish, your newest masterpiece or your partner's feelings... everything must be made with care and all in good time...
no reason is great enough to rush something as important as life..
sometimes, i forget.. i commit the unforgivable deed of forcing what i want... and in the end, I am the one shaking my head in dismay, either from embarassment, guilt or more often than not, hurt..
we are the ones who get hurt the most when we force ourselves on things that are not supposed to be ours at that particular point in time.. we get hurt by disappointment, usually....
if you think waiting sucks, wait till you fall flat on your face with embarassment when your claiming something you can't have but what you thought was yours all along.
waiting should also walk hand in hand with a good attitude...
wait-ers who tap their foot on the floor and watch the time of the clock tick by, get more frustrated by the minute..
there are still so many things that can keep you happy while your waiting. it is not as if your life is hinged on that particular event...
i see a lot of my friends, hoping with weary eyes, just waiting for one event that they think can make them happy...
but no matter how much i talk about patience, they will not learn how to wait until they have been taught by LIFE itself... i just wish there were more things that i can do to lessen their sadness...