i have always relied on my good 'ol dependable ipod... yes, i feel an attack of depression or panic every now and then. somedays are better than the others... but i guess, the christmas season have, time and again, made me more jittery as ever compared to the rest of the year... whenever, that chilly air would blow my way and ruffle my hair... it never fails to send a chill down my spine as well...
i love it, but at the same time, there is always that inexplicable feeling that brings me a feeling of impending doom as well... habits, like traumas are very hard to dilute, even over time...
fear that was implanted so deeply cannot be uprooted as easliy as it was done when it was being buried..
it's like erasing an indelible ink.. thant no matter how much you try to take a bath or soap it off in one whole day, the marks would still remain... and it teaches us a lesson or two about patience...
it will come off in its own time... we cannot rush it, no matter how hard we try...
in truth, we can try so many extreme ways on how to remove the ink from our skin, but like all things forced or done the unnatural way, it would hurt us deeply and badly, if we try to force it...
more than a decade has passed, maybe a decade more is needed... before one can truly be free of the nightmares of the past..
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