I want you to read carefully. And please keep this in the forefront of your mind. All the time.
1. WHAT HAPPENED TO US IS OVER A LONG TIME AGO. Leave it in the past. To be completely honest about it, most of my memories of us are already a blur. For your enjoyment, I'll admit, I cried a lot for the first three days... But that was it. For the succeeding days and weeks, i snapped out of it, as if on cue. Now, what happened to us seemed like it never happened at all. Like a hazy dream in a different dimension. No, i dont reminisce if that's what you're thinking. I am busy making my own happy memories now. And dont think that I'm forcing it. Cold as it may sound, but that's really how it has been for quite a while now. I HAVE MOVED ON. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not.
2. I AM NOT ON A DATING FRENZY. No, i am not crazed to find a replacement of you. Bec frankly, i really dont want that. Not someone like you, anyway. And if you know me well enough like how you claim, you know that i dont go out with other guys just for the heck of it. I will never do anything that might jeopardize my self-worth and reputation. I hate wasting time. So whoever it is that I'm seeing right now definitely means a lot to me.
3. DO NOT PITY ME. I walked into our relationship with both eyes open. I know I was the third party, the dispensable part of the equation. That's a given. The integrity of your words may have been in question for one or more instance back then, but i never stopped believing in you and in us when we were together. The moment i learned about the dynamics of everything that needed to be considered, I made a decision for myself. No, our ending was not your call. But if you wanna delude yourself, go ahead. I acknowledge the litter that I was walking away from, both eyes open. Pity should be directed to the person who doesn't even know how stinky the pit that they have been in for the longest time. Woe to them. Or her, in this case. But not to me.
I may have bought your promises of true love and commitment then. But that doesn't make me pitiful. It just means that i naturally believe in the goodness and integrity of people. Sometimes, it's just a case of encountering a bad apple every now and then. But not all hope is lost. Some people are still worth knowing. And trusting.
4. I AM HAPPY. And it would do you well if start believing it yourself because that is the plain truth. I am grateful for my place in the world right now. More and more I see the goodness of what brought me here, to all the events that led to this. The One above really is magnanimous. I used to think that good people get trampled upon by the ungood, but I guess He was in control the entire time... I wouldn't have this much appreciation to all the things that has been happening to me had I skipped all the lessons that I needed to learn from the year that was...
5. You may stop the occasional messaging. Starting NOW. It's not because it irritates me. Because it doesn't. Not anymore. It doesn't make my heart skip a beat. Not anymore. And neither does it put a smile on my lips. Not anymore. Now, I read it with eyes of indifference... It's just a number... A message from someone that I may have encountered in the past... not even friends. Not bec I'm hurting or still pinning for you. But just bec I dont want people like you to have a part in my life, however big or small.
6. STOP "thinking of my safety" every time we suffer from storms or what nots. Don't take out your super hero complex on me. Just find another damsel in distress, I'm sure you'll find one.. Dont worry about me and my kids. We are used to dealing with life on our own. We've seen worse storms in our lives, literally and otherwise. We have each other. We are gonna be more than okay.
7. And lastly, whatever you decide to do with your life is your prerogative. Whether we're both occupying the same space, or room or country at any given time, it wouldn't matter. Bec NOTHING will ever happen between the two of us. And even if your convoluted mind would like to think that should you miraculously grow some balls in this lifetime to leave that poor excuse of a relationship and pursue me again, that we can pick up from where we left off, please snap out of it. I will never take you back. Not now. Not in the future. Not ever. No anger or shame or guilt. It's just cause you dont exist for me anymore.
As much as I have been trying to keep to myself this whole time, I feel that it is also my duty to set some things straight.
This is not a mud slinging contest. I am not out for blood. Or revenge. Or vindication. Or to look for more allies. I also dont think I or "us" deserve any more airtime between your convo with our common friend. Let's just please both go back to our original corners in the world and live it the best possible way that we can.
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