craziness..

More than a month has passed.
I have gone from completely miserable, to devastated. to really angry, to catatonic, to melancholic, to regretful, resentful, to almost hysterical to utterly crazy....
Yep, i have gone through the whole circus that one goes through after a "break-up"
I'm still in it, actually. Still reeling from the roller coaster of emotions. And am still wondering when it will ever stop, if it will...
I've  done the most sensible, noble, mature up to the most stupendous things...


Yesterday, I went out of my way to have a quick dinner with him. Literally squeezing him into my ever-tight schedule. Sooo like me. Rearranging my life just to make space for that one person.


I am a bundle of uncertainties and insecurities right now. Hell, I can't even guess what my next thoughts would be.. 


For the life of me, I've done my utmost to keep myself preoccupied. I've been lazy, selfish, altruistic, carefree and all that. But at the end of the day... After all the excitement has wound down, after the beauty of the fireworks has gone out, after the music has stopped, after all the visitors have left... I am left with no one but myself, and my every loyal friend- loneliness.


Right now, all I can think about was that I made the biggest mistake of ending what we had... it was premature.. it was my paranoia that got that best of me..