slowly, one step at a time, i would like to think that i'm doing my part in creating a bigger distance between me and him.. i would like him to think that i am not easily affected by those corny, repetitive jests, those knowing smiles that is somewhat forcing you to smile too, those affectionate pat on the shoulder that has been happening all too often...
no...
i am so not affected by that....
not...
not...
i want to be like that, though.. my ultimate goal...
it's just a matter of time and of course
i just need to have a stronger will to fight the easier, more enjoyable course of action...
with what i'm trying to accomplish, the feeling is akin to depriving myself of a bittersweet chocolate bar... or not having my caffeine fix.... even if it's just at your arm's length...
hard
tough
but i've got to do it. i have to learn to grow up. i have to start living in the real world. i have to respect my limitations.
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