been a long, long time

i want to write this down.
so that i will not forget. so that when the right time comes, i'll know the right thing to do.

i saw his efforts, before.. the everyday texts, chat, pangungulit.
the movie dates and more...
i thought that that could have been the start of something different. but then again, i thought wrong...

after giving in to what he wanted, the so-called long deserved massage session and relaxation... he vanished into nothingness. as if i had just imagined the whole thing.
imagined the whole evening, beginning from the pick-up point,
to the spa, before the old spaghetti place, to the banchetto, until the drop-off point...
it did left me staring in space long after that.
leaving me wondering, and deflated.

yes, i do not have all the answers, but then again i know somehow what i got myself into.
I got PLAYED. yep, he was one big time playa.
Up to the very last moment of 2009, i was making myself believe the best of him.
once and again, my undesirable trait of having too much faith in people got the best of me.
once again, disappointment served on a silver platter.

given the chance to turn back the hands of time, i wouldn't even think twice on reverting my actions. nope. every second was worth it. some moments give me reasons to smile. some moments give me my lessons in life. no time wasted.

at least now, i know now..
i know better
just a matter of making the right choices from here on...
no more looking back.
no more rationalizing.
no more excuses.

good things look good at angle. period.