girls are stupid

this is one those days where i can brazenly say that i can live alone.
and i mean that in the "relationship" aspect. i mean, all men are so similar. it's like they had a secret middle school that they went to sometime during their teenage years wherein they were taught how they should think of their supposed "superiority", how to disregard girls' feelings, how to easily detach one's feelings even from the closest companions... how to break a heart in cold blood... oh, and i almost forgot... how to lie through their teeth...

these things are the core competencies that the male species should have mastered by the time they reach puberty..

every woman knows all of these facts... and that's the point... they are already considered FACTS... because it has been proven over and over through the years.. had already passed the test of time...

and yet, we still long for that one male person who we hope would be different from the rest of their flock.. waiting for someone who we think was especially made for us, to make us happy, to make us "whole", to give "meaning" to our life...

the probability is almost nil, yet every girl continues their quest, their vigil, their mission...

everyone, and that means, including me....

so bad it hurts

yup. saw him today.. several times but all too brief for me. not even lasting for more than a few minutes. too soon for someone who is missing someone so badly.
i shyly handed him some of the stuff that i bought for him from my trips. said thank you.
but that was it.
i wanted more that
not too much. not asking for so much.
it's just that i hope there might be some way we can be together longer.
more than mere acquaintances.. friends.
that word comes with some thorns attached to it.
but im willing to have that...

i'm really, really missing the good 'ol times.
shouldn't have had it in the first place...

withdrawal syndromes

can't believe that it was more than a month since my last entry... been too busy being busy.. running all over the place... been trying to be busy enough so i won't have the time to overanalyze my life. won't have the time to feel melancholy. won't have the time to miss anyone.. or rather... someone..

well, i guess i have to get used to this. as i've told myself over and over about a few years ago... "nobody dies from loneliness or from a broken heart". sure, some people would like to think that that's possible. but, physiologically, it really is not... only the drama queens and kings would think that way. but i refuse to live like that anymore.

sure, its lonely. but this is just right. right doesn't always make you happy. sometimes, i wish that my parents could have raised me in a different way. always thinking of what is righteous..

can't i just be bad? even for just one time. for just once in my life. forget about being the prudent person that i was raised to be....

this is useless...

i wonder if there's someone out there having the same sorry situation like me...